My Meanderings...

Lesson from my 5-yr old daughter

2012-01-08T23:59:00.000-08:00

You have to be all eyes and ears when my daughter, Lucie Patriz, talks because when you look away and just pretend to listen she will cup your face(and twist it towards her) with her two little hands. You should pay attention lest she cries her heart out, starts her weeping drama, and lectures you about focus.

Patriz: When I talk, I talk; when I eat, I eat; when I watch TV, I watch TV; when I play, I play.

Indeed there's time for everything.

Lesson from my 7-yr old son

2012-01-05T00:52:00.000-08:00

This new year's eve I showed my family our dreamhouse. We thought we need more resources for it to come true. One consideration is for me to work abroad, so I asked my son what he thought.

Theo: 5 days in the US is ok, dad.

Me: No Theo, not 5 days but 5 years. You'd have grown up then.

Theo: Not ok dad. You just stay here. Manila is ok but abroad is not.

(And here's the heart piercing stab.)

Theo: Daddy, if your work is not enough to raise funds, look for other work. There's work everywhere.

No complication eh? True.

Love Matters

2011-12-12T01:04:00.000-08:00

The moon shines so bright.

The pond in shadowy light,

The heart is oft right!

The mind thinks it's best

If life's journey it directs

Thus lover's behest!

In the end when love is sought.

Love is lost; love is for naught.

The Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living

2011-11-22T00:25:00.001-08:00

So thought Socrates, the Greek Athenian Philosopher. Perhaps he sought the meaning and purpose of life. Is life the pursuit of happiness and pleasure? Is it about reconciliation with the true self, with nature, or with the higher being? Is it living for oneself or is it living for others? Is it living the moment, the now? Are we just in transit? If I erred yesterday but made up for it today, would my sin be totally blotted out? How sure and great is love to wipe out sin and its miseries? Would my sins have an effect in my posterity? These are but a few of the infinite questions about how Socrates thought about life.

But I thought that the unexamined life is not worth living- and not worth dying nevertheless. I can't and shouldn't die even if I live a sinful and miserable life until I repent, mend, and make amends. Only then shall I be ready to let go and be ready to embrace death. Death for me is not a pit of darkness but a pedestal, a throne of light. I'll get there when I'm ready. And I can only do this by constantly examining my life to be worthy of this gift of life and the reward of death.

Fighting Feverish Feeling

2011-11-16T19:35:00.000-08:00

I catch fever today. My muscles ache and my bones tingle. I'm tired. Everytime I get sick I feel- as everyone perhaps does- paranoid; I feel nostalgic; I feel drained.

But I have to get up to fight- without bath regardless. I don't let a simple fever bring me down. I have to live, to love, to work, and to be for as long as I am alive and have my cause and reason to live- to love and to succeed.

I choose to live no matter what as what Marcus Aurelius said, "we should fear never beginning to live."

My Kids' Training on Discipline

2011-11-13T19:47:00.000-08:00

Generally Theo and Patriz can only play with their computers only on Friday and Saturday nights- and not at all when they are grounded for misbehaving in school or at home. Many days for disrespect and stubbornness and fewer for unintentional misgivings. They understand that being grounded is part of their discipline and training.

Everyday they ask, "Daddy, how many days are we still grounded?" Then they embrace me and shower me with kisses and show me their artworks or the results of their exams. Then they swear that they are now behaved.

"Ok, I got it. Your grounded days will shorten until this Friday." Now they start to prance and frolic, raising their hands in the air.

I was not like this when I was their age. Oh well!

Home is Heaven

2011-11-10T18:20:00.000-08:00

Out there is the world- full of materialism, full of struggles, full of pretenses.

Out there is the purgatory- where we are tried and tested, where we are smothered and smudged, where we are bruised and broken.

Out there is where my longing intensifies- longing for redemption, longing for love, longing to get home.

For home is where my life is, where my love is, where my bliss is, served.

Life's Perspectives

2011-11-09T05:35:00.000-08:00

If life is a bore, bear it.

If life is a trial, try it.

If life is a joke, jerk it.

Endearment

2011-11-09T05:02:00.000-08:00

The moon charms the star.

The flowers in full blossom-

Love is in the air.

My Kids' Discipline to Study

2011-11-08T19:59:00.000-08:00

Last night Theo and I studied his lessons. He is still in his 1st primary grade yet he has 9 books for each subject from reading, language, math, civics, computer, etc.

Past 10pm, I noticed that he's already sleepy and so was I. I told him to go to bed already(although this was more for me).

Vir Theo: No, Daddy, I'll just finish this math assignment and another from civics.

He rubbed his face with his hands, squinted his eyes, and continued answering his homework. I could see the little furrows in the mound of his eyelids- furrows of focus, diligence, determination.

Both tired, we ended before 11pm, but excited to begin another challenge in the morrow.

This morning Theo woke up late, but it's alright I have given him leeway to cope.

My daughter, Lucie Patriz, on the other hand, woke up crying because they were not able to study last night with her mom. Patriz asked if they have classes today.

Lucie Patriz: I hope we don't have classes. Because I don't want to make mistakes in the exams.

My youngest angel, Myrrh Fleurdeliz, is still 11 months old. I can see the same brilliance and diligence- even more- in her.

Man, are they my reasons to live for more! And to study and learn more!

My Kids' Conversation About Death

2011-11-07T19:57:00.000-08:00

Vir Theo: Daddy, what will happen to you after you become a grandfather?

Me: What do you mean precisely?

Vir Theo: Will you also die like my old lolo and lola(his maternal great grandparents)?

Me: Yes, Theo. We cannot escape that. Death will happen.

Lucie Patriz: (Hugging me), No Daddy. I hate it. I don't want you to die.

Oh how she pierced my heart!

Vir Theo: Don't worry Triz. That will happen in 1,000 years.

Me: No, Theo. Even a hundred is too old for me.

Lucie Patriz: How old are you now Daddy?

Oh she's counting. I think I should too. We all should.

Count and live each day as if it's our last. Let's celebrate each day with our loved ones. As the saying goes: Live and let love for we may not pass this way again.

My Kids' Views of God

2011-11-01T17:47:00.000-07:00

My 5-year old daughter, Lucie Patriz, always leads the prayer before we eat breakfast. This morning we admonished her because she said the grace aloud, nearly shouting.

"Daddy, I prayed aloud because God is far in the sky, meaning heavens, and so that He can hear the prayer."

My 7-year old son, Vir Theo, retorted, "No, Patriz. God is near. He is in our hearts. Heaven or hell is in our hearts."

I wonder what my 11-month old baby, Myrrh Fleurdeliz, has to say to that.

Well, she just giggles.

100 & 1 Ways to Heaven

2011-10-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

This phrase means not the numerical value but the virtues to inherit heaven. Many but one will do- Love, from 1 Corinthians 13:13. "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love". The greatest laws abide by this virtue. From Mark 12:30, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength". Matthew 22:39, "Love your neighbor as yourself".

I have a confession.

I love my kids so much, yet I'm not a perfect father. I love my wife so much, yet I'm far from that perfect husband. I love my family so much, yet I fear that my imperfections would catch up with me and devour and damn me.

I pray always that God's kingdom will reign in me and be done on earth as it is in heaven. I pray always that God will wrest me away from temptation and sin.

I need God's grace to inherit heaven. He reigns supreme.

Love of Life

2011-10-24T19:46:00.000-07:00

Sun bursts early morn,

Peaking and ebbing waves rush-

Love conquers the tide.

Steepling

2011-10-20T02:20:00.000-07:00

Steepling- touching fingertips with hands forming like a cube synchs up body, mind and soul on the undertaking. It shows confidence, portrays honesty, and draws faith.

When both palms touch in closed steeple, it summons the universe for truth and life gets what it deserves.

Keep the faith alive no matter what!

Guilt Cleansing

2011-10-20T01:46:00.000-07:00

Evening breeze beckons--

Lightning flashes in the sky,

Earth wet in the dark.

Breakthroughs in Bed

2011-10-18T00:58:00.000-07:00

When I'm down, I curl up in bed;
When I'm stressed, I wrap in my blanket;
When I'm sad, I smother in my pillows.
In bed I find my comfort, my courage, my strength.
In bed my body rests, yet my soul wanders and keeps fighting.
In bed, breakthroughs happen.
Please nudge me not.

Back Yet Again

2011-10-18T00:13:00.000-07:00

Took me more than a year- 455 days to be exact- hopefully enough to muster courage to jot down my thoughts again on screen. I was lost, groping, succumbing, and finally deciding that writing though daunting completes me.

My meanderings... My Lifelong Learnings I leave for my family, my friends, my acquaintances, my readers, hoping that we learn from our life's journey.

Seize the day!

Impasse

2010-07-19T09:03:00.000-07:00

I had to restrain myself lest I'd bang my head against the keyboard, had tried name and birthday combination to no avail. Open Sesame! Secret! P@$w0rd! "What should it be?" alas, I exclaimed. Everything is pending until I submit this compliance report.

How many of you have encountered the same impasse? We protect our files- and our life's savings- with many a queer password that we can't seem to summon as soon as forgetfulness sets in.

I need to find ways. Before I doze off I have to call and fetch some souls hoping that in my sleep they will help me recall it- notwithstanding whether in a dream or in a nightmare.

I have downloaded several password cracks, but they seem to take an eternity to even give a hint. I have asked our technicians- and some saints- for help, but help is elusive.

Lately, perhaps by some sort of luck or divine intervention, after many sleepless nights, when my hopes are slowly fading, it came to me-- not a word or anything related to my personal life, just a two stupid punctuation marks that look like smiley or a wink.

Got this advice from the Microsoft website about creating passwords. It says that we need to avoid using:

dictionary words in any languages
words spelled backwards, common misspellings or abbreviations
sequences or repeated character
personal information

I have learned my lesson.

Un-expectant Father

2010-07-06T05:34:00.002-07:00

Our plans have been set. This year we process our immigration papers for Canada- go through the hassle of correcting our birth names, update licenses, prepare credentials and other pertinent records. By next year, off we leave for Canada and settle there for good with my wife and two kids. Or so we thought.

"Hi darl, congratulations! I can hear the hoarse heartbeat of a new life in my womb. You're gonna be a new daddy again." My wife phoned later today from her OB gyne.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "How come?" I thought.

I feel the weight of my spine. My muscles loosen up and my mind seems to flounder. My face blushes then turns ashen and all about me seems blurry and drab. Can it be true? An accidental blessing?

At home I break the news to my kids. "I am your only baby daughter." I sense childish jealosy from my littler angel. His kuya is a little more responsible and open, though. Is she a boy or a girl? What do I like? What to name? Too many rhetorical questions going on in my head.

Our plans have veered. We need a bigger house, a car and most of all- cash for the Cesarean operation. New challenge!

Deep in me, I hold that whatever comes our way it's been designed by the provident God and I believe that nothing will ever pull us down if we have complete faith and trust in Him and in ourselves.

"Welcome to the new world! Take comfort with our warmth and love." I whisper to my darling's navel so our angel inside can hear my felicitations. Viola, a few hours thence my darling's tummy seems to have ballooned. I'm heard.

The fallen god

2009-11-18T10:52:00.000-08:00

By god I mean role models. I have a few of them. One for nurturing relationships- the God, family, and friends. He is my father. One for selfless love and a perfect partnership of the former. She is my mother whose qualities I am blessed with to have found in my wife- care, diligence, energy, faith and love. They are my gods who have a very special place in the recesses of my heart and whom I always pray that our God will always be there for them, shower them more blessings, and secure them in His loving arms. They are my living saints, my prayer crusade. (I will share about their rare gifts in one of my posts in this blog.)

I have one special god. One for communication and leadership skills. I can't tell his name for apparent reasons. Vividly I can still recall how he wows his audience with his wits and smarts. His approach in both speaking and writing is simple, direct, straightforward that hits the mark. No ambiguity. His one line that has hit me was, "you never cease to amaze me, Rene". He is my speech books personified.

The fallen. Sad but true. Despite his magical gifts in conveying messages and convincing people on his side, one possession he could not hold on was his family. I remember it was perfect before then- great loving wife and kids who all excelled in their own endeavors. Was it boredom? Was it pride? Certainly not out of lackluster love. Was it circumstance? Was it meant to be? Maybe.

There's time yet to resolve differences- to forgive and forget. If there's a will, there will always be a way. It's not too late to rise again. Be the idol you had been not to me but more importantly to your family. May God bless you in this effort.

Forgiveness

2009-11-12T02:59:00.000-08:00

They say it is easier to forgive your enemy than your friend. Is this because you expect perfection from a friend and misgivings from a foe. If forgiveness is love, would it be more difficult then to embrace an erring friend again than to accept a renewed enemy?

Harboring grudge and ill-will is bitterness swallowed whole. It's enslaving. Sickening. Forgiving is soul cleansing. It's liberating. Refreshing.

Forgiving is living and loving all at once. Forgiving and loving, both take practice and the outcome from both- magical.

Brute Loyalty

2009-11-09T07:27:00.000-08:00

A dog though much castigated will still wag its tail in deference to its master.

A person when hurt will bow and pay respect only to some extent, but not any further.

Both have feelings. Both are elated when fondled. Yet, both also feel low and sad under depressing circumstances.

How's brute loyalty different from human loyalty then?

Pride. It's a deadly sin, but often 'tis what holding the reins of sanctity and dignity as a person to himself. Insult the person, debase him and expect no loyalty from him, even a little brute loyalty from him.

Don't Work, Daddy!

2009-08-02T13:35:00.002-07:00

How would you answer such a beseeching from your doting kids?

I have pondered upon my reply, which I'd like to share with you. Here it is.

I love you so much, Theo and Triz, that I have to leave you, that I have to work and earn for you.

There is a tinge of tension in my answer because the truth is-- underneath my answer are some if-you-only-know tags.

If you only know how much I love to stay in bed and cuddle with you...
If you only know how much effort it would take to brave the office pressures...
If you only know the many sleepless nights immersed about deadlines, quotas, customer issues...
If you only know that my hardwork is my way of loving you...that without you, my work has no meaning...

I think they understand why I need to leave home every morning. Ain't I surprised when upon arriving home, they ask me, Why are you late, Daddy? Here we go again...

Two Much Pun

2008-10-30T13:47:00.000-07:00

1. Q: Why are biscuits called biscuits?
A: Because they are only a bit sweet. They'd be candies if they are two much sweeter.

2. Q: What is a dime a dozen?
A: For every damn of ten you get two damns for free.

My angels

2008-10-29T07:39:00.000-07:00

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up my childish ways. 1 Corinthians 13:11

I sure did act like a child when I was a child, but I could not recall the instance I put my childishness away. Important? You bet because it would give me ideas on how to rear my two little angels.

My little boy, Vir Theo. We named him after his two lolos, Virgil and Teodoro. He's four years old. Theo is so much like me I guess. Our resemblance is unmistakable, has my brains or maybe my two fathers', and more undeniably, my antics. To say that he is full of energy is an understatement and to dismiss this cliche I'd say he's always high, errr drugged. The bright side of this is that it shows his potentials; the dark side of this is he's sometimes losing his mom's temper and ahem, mine. Sometimes I could not spare the rod and it tore my heart. To make my dilemma worse, my wife and I are out at work and his yayas are not as logical as we are. I love him so much and I want him to grow up feeling and experiencing that love.

My little girl, Lucie Patriz. We named her after her two lolas, Lucena and Patricia. She's two years old. As you might have guessed, she is a lot like her mom. Her looks I could not own, lest she would be less pretty. She is always the leading lady of her little baby dramas. She's as sweet as her mom. She is my little darling, my doted little angel.

Few years from now my two angels will have grown, they will not be as childish, not as attached, but definitely they will be as bright, as clever, and as loving as they can ever be.

May God bless our family always and forever.

Reality Bites and Sucks, Too

2008-04-19T11:12:00.001-07:00

The truth hurts and because it does we try to deny it, pretend not to notice it, cover it, or make up for it. How? Two ways.

First, by being self-righteous. We criticize other people's flemsies and flaws, yet always find excuses when other people see us committing the same. Take the case of Jan-jan's surgical ordeal. Neither the patient victim nor the doctor tormentor is a saint. We can take sides and pass judgments to either party, yet we somehow refuse that either party's sin can be a reflection of our own misgiving in one way or another. Jan-jan's, or the doctors', sin is that of commission; ours that of omission.

Second, by displaying superiority complex. This is but an act governed by social pressures and expectations. The inferior would endeavor to appear superior, while the superior will feel inferior when confronted with another superior. Weakness is a sin. We disown it.

These two types of denial pull us down and prevent us from achieving our true potential, for it is only in acknowledging our shortcomings that we can begin to grow. Like any sprouting, pain is uncompromisable; the seed of greatness has to be broken.

The truth hurts, but it can set us free.

Headless Chicken

2008-04-11T21:27:00.001-07:00

If you're used to the slaughter of cattle or flock, you may agree that every slaughter has a semblance of ritual- preparing the pot, sprinkling of salt, paying respect-- all demystifying the process. Should the ritual go awry, you're forgiven. As in the case of slaughtering chicken, you should follow the process of first pulling off the feather in the neck just below the skull, then tap thrice the bare neck with the knife, and finally do the slow, elaborate slice of the skin until it cuts the brain veins and bursts the blood. A butcher perfect process with no frills! And no qualms!

But if you cut the head off with one swift blow, the chicken will run amok in all directions. The end is untimely, no premonitions, only deadly death(if only to stress my point).

Management Application. Sometimes employees are like headless chicken. They don't know where they're heading and why they're anywhere. The manager can sometimes act as the perfect butcher(also following the same painful process of nagging, bickering, and accounting). To improve the process, it's advisable to change roles and alter the rules.

Theo's Recognition Day

2008-04-03T08:38:00.000-07:00

My Pride and Joy...

Like Father Like Son...

AMEN

2008-03-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

So be it; Let it be; Yes I believe. A proclamation of unwavering faith. The creation process of both itself and else's as governed by the universal law, by the god's.

The 5th Discpline

2008-03-28T13:17:00.000-07:00

This is the book by Peter Senge on Systems Thinking and Learning Organization. I thought I could get my next copy at a cheaper price after I had given my first copy as a parting gift to my boss upon my resignation. To my dismay- neither because I gave it away nor because I thought he did not read it anyway, the book is much more expensive now than when I first bought it. Unlike other books that seem to devalue over time, the 5th Discipline appreciates.

Systems thinking is about knowing the deeper scheme of things, about tackling the indispensable cause, either the original sin or the original virtue, that brings about the cascading effects at every turn. Series of events that seem to have their own reasons of falling under pressures, such as shown below.

1) Salespeople resigning because they can't handle management's pressure to deliver the figures.
2) Because of management's pressure to sell more, salespeople do everything they can to sell- even to those not qualified to provide profitable relationships and to those whose products sold are not exactly the best fit for them. Most often salespeople over promise, over commit, but under deliver.
3) After-sale-support are having a nightmare on how to satisfy angry customers. The support personnel are also contemplating leaving.
4) Customers are mouthing and spreading ill will against their vendor.
5) Sales are getting fewer, farther in between and less profitable.
6) Management is pressing for more sales because it cannot simply survive without income. Threatening.

Shall we point out the weakest link? Well, I think nobody is to blame but the system. How? Well, help me help me learn, help me help you do.

SNAFU

2008-03-27T13:52:00.000-07:00

This acronym for Situation Normal All Fouled Up happened to me lately. My hopes were pinned on closing a deal with a car accessory company when I was called by my contact person that she is still considering options from the competition. This is not exactly a fouled up scenario, but I felt my hopes slowly fading out.

In hindsight I knew that my solution was the best fit after careful study, analysis and consultation with the account. However, I was not too sharp to notice that at this time getting the best solution at my price may not be that attractive rather than opting for the second best option from the competition at a lesser price. Why is price an issue? I noticed that they are still constructing their new office. Competition is about half my proposed price.

How did I handle the impending Snafu? I have reviewed the consulting process. Could anything be wrong that has discredited me, my solution, or my company? Have I correctly qualified the account in the first place? What have I missed? Looking at the scenario, how can I move forward with the account objectively?

Then, I called the account. Listened, I emphatized. Told her that we are ready to assist them in reasonable way we can. I sensed an open ear and a tinge of hope.

Situationally Aware

2008-03-26T07:48:00.000-07:00

Had an appointment this afternoon at 3:00. I called yesterday for confirmation of today's meeting. Arrived on time, but I was still told that I should have called again before the appointed time. I don't know but maybe this re-confirmation of a confirmed meeting is only heard of in the Philippines, of which I hope not. No reasons, I was partly at fault.

My prospect's office is a bustle of activities. Phones ringing, employees working unmindful with one another, meetings inside each room, papers and other files sprawled on each table- some heaped up on the shelves and open cabinets. The air is humid. My timing was not right. Should be situationally aware!

But I was already there, at least I should gather enough information for me to qualify the prospect. No available table but 2 seats. We sat. Briefly talked about the company's needs according to his needs. Then talked with his counterpart in Bulacan, farther north, and got better understanding of the real need. Then talked with their accountant for more details on the subject. She was even busier but still accommodating. Got what I need. Should be more careful not to waste their time.

Meeting was brief yet very productime.

Easter Thoughts

2008-03-23T03:56:00.000-07:00

I have been pondering about life's myths and mysteries the eve before the risen and glorified Christ rolled the stone off his tomb. He succumbed, struggled, and succeeded. From the Living, to the Dead, and finally to the Undead! Could this be the path to, or pith of, success?

My life has been a series of peaks and troughs- struggling and succeeding, sometimes failing, from childhood to fatherhood. The difficult part is the learning and unlearning of the cause of failure. What have I done to merit this lot in life? Am I in the verge of falling, hence failing, from my high stage down or am I preparing this stage to fly to the next level?

Easter thoughts bring me Easter Resolutions. But this time it's different because there's hope along with faith that comes with the resolutions in this time of Christ's glorification.

Fight or Flight

2008-03-01T13:08:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been having short, intermittent sleeps. Just today I am awakened early dawn, around 4:30am, by a strange flash in my mind about something needed to be done or undone- something just in the subconscious really. Then suddenly it hit me. Today is March 1 and this March 7th I'll be turning 34.

Then my memory flashes back to where my recollection leads: when I was in my elementary grade I was winning in my daily struggles, had my own daily tasks to tick off. In school I was not exactly inconspicuous yet neither in the limelight, just a normal ordinary boy with his own tricks and drama. I used to wake up early dawn to start my day- from fetching 2 barrels of water, going out with butchoy, our horse, for grazing, getting feeds for our swine, doing the cooking, up to reading the lessons if I still had time. It was long a list of menial tasks committed to both muscle and memory- mind you, yet I was fighting and winning every step of the way and boy I was only 12 years old then.

My college days were not at all spectacular. Away from my family I was renting a room near Ateneo De Zamboanga University, my Alma Mater, across the street by the slum area of Camino Nuevo with my Chavacano aunt. I did my own laundry and pressing, did my own grocery and cooked my own food. My sister owned an apartment about 2 kilometers away from school yet I did not choose to stay there so I could keep me away from peering eyes of familiar faces and emancipate me from my rural roots. I did not excel in school, at least not in grades because I remember that my affluent classmates would call me in during group studies to answer special assignments and cases in our major accounting subjects. I was very good in analyzing figures, I studied how formulas were derived and I came up with correct answers to some accounting problems presented. I was winning.

Now, I have my own family. I am a father of 2 lovely kids. Looking at them still sound asleep(yeah, because they are snoring) with their pretty mother, I begin to take a look at my present standing at work, where my boss seems too easy to understand yet too difficult to understand if you know what I mean. Well this is the time when the issue is crowded with biased emotions and you can't seem to think straight and reason, and you thought, hey, whatever happened to my past achievements. Sometimes I ask if my case is just a case of too much multi-tasking or just an issue of time organization. I would not elaborate on this.

For now, I think it's enough to conclude that that I'm facing a problem. Shall I fight, or flee and look for another fight, or just flee. Whatever it is I am not gonna be afraid for I am a winner as I have been. But, but something has to change and this change should start from me.

So it has begun.

From Sarisariware to Software

2008-02-23T00:56:00.000-08:00

I remember when I was still a boy that I used to peddle anything: gallons of water fetched out of the artesian well, vegetables like malabar and water spinach, sacks of stones and pebbles for building blocks, candies in school, and RTWs in my mother's store. I had no idea then about direct personal selling; all I wanted was that I could earn the money needed to go with my parents out of town to visit my cousins and relatives.

I guess I got my salesmanship from my parents- who built their own businesses from scratch. My father started as a farmer and a fisherman; plowed the farm during the day and went out fishing at night. Then he slowly developed out of guts and faith our small fishpond, then put up our neighborhood's light and power, then water distribution- these on top of his farming. My mother also started as a farmer's wife, a seamstress, a peddler of housewares and food items, until she put up her own tailoring and RTW store.

Selling is in my blood but it's never been my ambition to go into sales. I would have wanted to enroll in a medical school if not for my brother's prodding for me to take up accountancy as he did. I took up accountancy, graduated, passed the licensure exam, became an auditor and management adviser. By a small twist of fate, I applied as accounting manager of an IT company, but I was told by my prospective employer during the interview that I was more of a salesman than an accountant. Then I knew that the job posting for accounting manager was just a catch so my employer can get CPAs to market business solutions. That was the start of my selling and consulting career.

Many hard lessons learned along the way and these I'll try to impart to you as I continue to blog in my meanderings.

Fresh From The Can

2008-02-20T06:49:00.000-08:00

Just when you thought that fresh could only mean novel, pure, unadulterated...

It can mean anything when you thingk out of the can. When things, after getting spoilt and stale and wasted and bottled up inside, can look fresh and draw out new life once they're exposed outside.

Looking at things differently, each differently from different perspectives, can bring valuable insights in the pursuit of life's happiness, in the quest of life's meaning.

Learning From My Baby

2008-02-12T07:39:00.000-08:00

Who could endure hearing a baby's cry? Who would not be seduced by a baby's smile? Fragility and Innocence. Both proclivities are toward the fledgling and weak yet both are armed with magic to melt the heart and tame the tempest. Learn the qualities of a baby- pure, guiltless and free from worldly cares and everyone around you will be your family, your kin, your guardian, your angel.

Money in the Drain

2008-02-02T07:56:00.000-08:00

Need Expound No More! True to its meaning- both literally and figuratively.

Sometimes we scrimp for every penny yet feel ashamed of picking up a glittering cent in the drain, off the road. There's more coined value in this once you get to start picking up value albeit small in your subconscious. Wealth attraction starts from small pieces of value until these pieces become a big mass and wealth is inevitable.

The Secret

2007-10-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

I have watched the film, but i haven't read the book. The secret is all about the law of attraction that says that your thought attracts the same thought processes achieving the motivating reason behind the thought.

The secret has the same underpinnings as the law of success of Napoleon Hill on "the mastermind". It says that once two or three minds achieve harmony, the mastermind evolves.
The mastermind is greater than the sum of its parts and can achieve far greater success than what the individual mind can achieve. But it will also disintegrate once any of the member minds disintegrates.

This is as true in feeling as it is in thought. Think of your grandest thought and your happiest feeling and you can fly. These thoughts and feelings vibrate and send the vibrations to the ether and will attract similar vibrations to make more of your thoughts and feelings happen. This is the law of the secret and the secret in prayer.

Not a secret at all, eh? Yes, yet difficult to master as our worst enemy is not those against us but us.

Ogling

2007-08-24T05:39:00.000-07:00

No gaping. No Drooling. Just surreptitious look.
No wanton malice. No lewd intent. Just social pleasure.

I read faces, perceive emotions, sense auras. Figures do not miss me, especially figures that move. Sometimes I get a sensuous smile, at times a smirk if not a sneer. When I'm lucky I get a double stare- first, the what; second, the why not.

Ogling is a way of measuring up yourself with other people. It's computed as your self-worth divided by her beauty plus her availability equals the relative worth of the ogler. When you ogle, do not look down. Be brave or she might think you're a wuss. Wait for the reaction. Be perceptive- first, of hers; second, of yours. Any chemistry? Or electricity?

I ain't good at this. Ah, sense and sensibilities.

A House is not a Home...

2007-08-21T04:03:00.000-07:00

When there's no one there to hold you tight and no one there you can kiss goodnight... by Dionne Warwick

But a home is not a home when no love is found there.
A home is a sanctuary with an air of quiet and peace and harmony and love.

A house is a statement of one's life - the aspirations, the longings, the will, the emotion, the breath of its dweller. Some houses are as pompous or as modest as the ones living there. Some have the aura of warm welcoming; others that of blatant bluntness. Some are dead and dry; others living and liberating.

Those who build high fences of their homes are afraid and selfish: afraid that other people would barge into their safety and comfort; selfish because they don't like to share
the beauty of their dwelling.

Soon I will have my own house. It will be in Lamac, Consolacion Cebu, about 30 minute ride to the city. It's a modest townhouse with wooden stairs leading to three bedrooms upstairs and to the angular balcony overlooking the city. The fence is short and made of angular steel bars vertically arranged for passersby to behold the beauty inside.

It will be my family's sanctuary, full of love, warmth, harmony and peace. It will be my home.

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

2007-08-20T03:15:00.000-07:00

Deeply intellectually intriguing, this book is worth reading every page including the blurbs. This book is about how the egotist and selfish struggle to prove their leading role in the discovery and invention of things. The selfless, humanitarian counterpart is
but an empty shell that either adapts or adopts the norm thereby leading mediocre lots.

I intend to read it again, not for its chafing philosophy, but for its writing style. This book is a rhythm. Highly recommended to those who are passionate about anything!

The Voice Within

2007-08-11T00:32:00.000-07:00

I'm hearing voices, always, as ever always, neither mine nor other people's. Stubborn, unrelenting, this voice never leaves me alone physically, spiritually. It is quick to praise -- or to damn.

When I'm peaceful and feeling great, the voice sings. It hums a hymn so soft and sweet taking me to a restful reverie. It applauds of my nobility. But when I'm angry and upset --and guilty, the voice cries a sharp shrill, sometimes sobbing, questioning but not convicting of my own folly.

Sometimes I rebel against the voice, disowning it. But my own disavowal leads me back right at it. Only this time the voice is more damning.

Because of this advocate inside my head, I tend to think and weigh of the consequences of my decisions. Now, am I a consequential thinker? No, I am but a listener.

Letter to my Darl

2007-08-04T08:36:00.000-07:00

Written last May 18, 2007. I can't resist putting it here in my blog...

Hi Darl,

Time flies so fast
Not counting the challenges we’ve faced
Ten years passed
Our love has never diminished.

Hearts still ablaze of love
Lips though at times are sealed
In Life other concerns should be arranged
Yet trust that love will never fade.

You, Theo and Patriz are my passion
     My Life
           My Love
                My Everything!

I am nothing without you
Forgive me for my shortcomings
I’ll be careful not to fall or trip or cause you pain
I pray that I’ll be safe always so I can care for you
And love you all my life.

Love,

Darl

Here's the reply....

Hi Darl,

Thanks for the poetic words…as always it speaks of the inner you.J

My world surrounds each day with love and best care to the special gifts God has showered me…Darl, Theo and Patriz. Looking back, really time flies so fast and that we have walked on the life chosen. I am grateful for all the love and support you have given us. We still have a long way to go with our two loving kids. Let us continue doing best for our goals in life and with great faith and trust in Him surely we can make it.

Happy 5th Wedding Anniversary Darl!!! Asa man ta unya? HeheheJ J J

Lots of Love,

Euca

The Lottery

2007-08-03T05:52:00.000-07:00

The story. One dreary afternoon after work, I was trudging on my way home when I noticed a long line of people queuing for a lottery ticket. Different people, different dreams but with one common aspiration-- winning the lottery jackpot. Shortcut to riches, are they prepared for it? Having been used to hand-to-mouth existence, can they manage being instant millionaire? You might have heard the story of a fellow who became even poorer than five years ago after winning the lottery.

Before I get wax philosophical I must admit that I do frequent the
lotto station. I shan't win if I don't play, err bet, yeah that's more
fitting. No harm trying. So boy did I join the throng and wade in!

I remember the time when I rushed to the lotto station after a night of shitty dream, combined anniversary dates, then added my lucky number seven. The next day not one of the 6-number combination came out. Alas, I shan't win if I don't play.
No remorse losing; I may be lucky next time.

The news. The Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office (PCSO) has announced the increase of one(1) lotto share from P 10 to P 20 starting August 15, 2007.

Analysis. This is a brilliant pricing move by the PCSO because, while the ticket price increases by 100 percent thereby accelerating the prize at stake and drawing more bets, this increase will not decimate the number of bettors. Bettors bite the bullet during trying times. I do. What do you think?

Me

2007-08-02T02:07:00.000-07:00

I am dead alive, stiff yet breathing, cold yet pulsating. Two beings stir inside me, grappling for my attention.
And this is my challenge- keeping the balance between
the dark and the light, evil and good, pleasure and pain. I have been to both sides of the world(not either as this means full immersion)
and I have been bitten and bruised

but never been buried. Now
I have come out more resolved and steady,
more purposeful and unyielding,
more than me.

My meanderings are about my life's experiences, daily observations,
and minute insights. Your thoughts are always welcome. Let's toast to this life full of colors; let's make a mosaic out
of our shared moments;
let's correspond.

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam,

Rene